Insignificant Other

Heather Langley Mental Guru

Single. Unmarried. Childless. Definitions that I have worn as labels throughout my life with, at times pride and at times shame, but most often with disappointment and disillusion.

One Love

There’s one belief that is shared across continents and religions and between genders and sexualities; that we should all ‘pair up’ and reproduce.

Certainly, without a pairing of some kind, the human race would cease to exist but does this mean that we are all required to pursue this one path in life or, worse, feel inadequate or ‘a failure’ if we never find ‘The One’ and have never procreated?

When the narrative that defines your life path is that of a Worldwide dictate or policy then how can you free yourself from its binds if it turns out that this is not the life for you?

A Diamond is Forever

And that’s a very long time!

It’s the biggest marketing campaign but not necessarily the most successful. We are sold this idea that we will all meet, fall in love with and spend the rest of our lives in harmonial bliss with the perfect partner. Well think about it. No one would buy into this way of life if it were ‘advertised’ as ‘You’ll probably enjoy the first few years but ultimately you’ll wind up having to learn to put up with each other!’ A wedding is after all a celebration of the union of love; it’s not a ‘you’ll do Do’!

Shine bright Like a Diamond

So I’ve learnt to put up with the responses of other people when they find out I’m single or have never married and have no children, after all I can only change my response. And I’ve also learnt to redefine; to establish new labels which I wear with pride knowing what it has taken to get here. I have changed ‘single’ for ‘not settling’, ‘unmarried’ for ‘I don’t’ (I practice abstinence) and ‘childless’ for ‘child free’. Finally, I’m winning at life!